Crime and Punishment: Autism

My son received an educational verification of ASD while in the Headstart program. He is currently in 3rd grade and I have actively participated in his IEP meetings, providing information and making recommendations. In the last few meetings, it had been brought up that he requires more challenges to keep from being bored. The recommendation that he be placed in a higher reading group was dismissed on the basis that he "wouldn't be able to catch up with the grammar". I was not happy with this, but felt it could be readdressed later.

Additionally, last year, my son's stimming behavior manifested in destructive clothes chewing. I personally researched solutions to this problem and purchased a necklace designed to accommodate chewing and "fiddling" for ASD persons. The necklace was confiscated at least twice by school staff because he was chewing and fiddling with it, despite his attempts to explain. He became paranoid about them taking the necklaces and stopped taking them to school.

Wednesday, I received a letter explaining that my son was being suspended indefinitely due to his "tearing pages from several text and reading books". When I asked him about this (because that is NOT something he normally does), he said he gets bored and jittery and tears small pieces out of the corners of pages. Upon further discussion, he said he would like to have the necklaces again.

Meanwhile, I have been trying to get a hold of the school principal to set up the meeting that we have to have before my son can get back to school. It's Thursday and I am still waiting to find out if I can (maybe) get a meeting on Monday. I did get the school counselor, who gave me the run-around and hung up on me when I protested the school's callousness towards my son's ASD issues. I eventually called the superintendent, who is trying to get us the late morning meeting on Monday.

I have tried to explain stimming and the need for challenging material in my son's IEP meetings several times. I have provided non-invasive methods for him to deal with his stimming urges and the staff saw fit to take away his property without the benefit of the doubt. His teacher and most of the staff seem to be completely ignorant of the idea that he would need something different than the other students, despite these same people being responsible for and (often) participating in his IEP planning meetings. His IEP seems to focus ONLY on activities and such that pull him from the regular class with NO solid plan or methods for dealing with him in the regular class. He has a different teacher for his reading class, who seems to have even less understanding of him.

The Womb-Shield Meditation: Taking shelter in the original shelter

The concept of the womb-shield came about from a discussion on my podcast, Pagan Musings. The idea is that you are protected and loved in the womb, but you are not separate from those who love you. You can still interact. It isn't a barrier to your needs. Like the womb, a womb-shield feeds you and keeps you warm and safe. You can interact with those around you (just don't actually kick them!).



Let's begin:

Close your eyes. Breathe deeply, through your nose. Relax your arms and legs. Relax your shoulders. Relax the muscles on your head and face. Relax your spine.

You are in the dark. There is no light, no sound, no feeling. You are perfectly safe, held close by the dark. You are warm and comfortable, floating in the dark. Take a moment to experience this.

You notice a sound, low and soft and rhythmic. It pulses out a steady beat, growing louder and becoming more clear. You recognize the sound. It is the heartbeat of the Earth Goddess. The sound matches the beat in your own chest, pulsing your lifebeat.

The sound gives you power. It makes you strong and healthy. It takes away pains and wounds, toxins and fatigue. You feel the lazy power of the lion, the motionless strength of the sequoia. It moves through your arms and legs, infusing the muscles there. Take a moment to experience this.

You notice a light growing around you, red and soft, the color of love. It glows warmly, showing what lay in the dark. There are soft, warm walls traced with veins. The blood pulses in them in time to the heartbeat in your ears. Your world is safe, full of love, made of the Mother. Nothing can hurt you here, surrounded by one who loves you. Take a moment to experience this.

You feel the power of the heartbeat flowing in you. You see the womb walls surrounding you, keeping you safe from all harm.

Now, the womb slowly becomes transparent. You can see the larger world around you, people, objects, everything. But you can still see the veins of your womb world if you look closely. The sounds of your surroundings become clear, but you can still hear the heartbeat if you listen closely.

Now, you leave the meditation, slowly coming back to the here and now. As you move through your day, if you concentrate, you can see and hear the womb around you still, protecting you from all harm.

In Sickness and in Health

I am recovering.

Until the blood tests indicate otherwise, I am going with the doctor's assessment: I came down with West Nile. I have one of the modern plagues, a viral boogeyman.

I have learned from this.

It is easy to keep going when you are healthy. And despite certain physical issues, I have been blessed with great health in the form of high immunity and general constitution. My health allows me to keep up a high level of activity, a high endurance for industriousness, which allows me to keep my family on a track of life quality and potential that would normally be just out of reach.

I have pride in this accomplishment.

The times that I am laid low by illness, I gain a perspective that puts the goodness of my life into clarity. I see how my family works when all of my plotting and planning keeps us going. I see how the stockpile of resources prevents lack. I benefit from the efforts of advancing the family unit in the form of a husband's health insurance and sick time to care for me.

The gods have blessed me with health. And this week, they blessed me with sickness.

Letters to my brother, 1

I was watching 30 Days tonight. It is a tv series by the guy, Morgan, who did "Super Size Me". He has people (including himself) going into lives that they are opposed to or unfamiliar with, and living in that life for 30 days.
Tonight, I watched an episode where Morgan goes to prison for 30 days. It was really hard to watch it. There are so many things I don't agree with about the current U.S. prison system. He talked about the lack of any real productive options for spending time during the day-to-day. I hope you have more options than just reading and watching tv.
I think the hardest part, for me, is that I want to do something to help - you and others - but what kinds of things could I do? I don't have the finances to send a lot of things, or to make trips to visit. It's very frustrating.
I'm thinking of doing a regular lesson session with the kids to teach them our beliefs, mainly focusing on the Heathen Virtues (Heathenry being the Norse/Viking religion). It's what Stormie mostly follows, and I really like the values that it focuses on.
We would have to start with my favorite Virtue, responsibility. In Heathenry, you are judged by your actions, and your value as a member of society is based on your reputation. Consistent behavior becomes who you are, spiritually (they call it a person's Wyrd - rhymes with bird, or sounds like weird, depending on who's pronouncing it). Also, it is up to the individual to make right any wrong doings. This feeds right in to my teaching the kids that saying sorry is only half of it; you also have to do your best to fix it, and change your behavior.
I may just blog out the lessons, first, to get all my chaotic thoughts in order prior to doing it, but that smacks of procrastination. I've been so swamped with Farmer's Market, work, making brisket for Hay Days, back-to-school, etc., it seems like I'm busting my ass and not getting anything done.
Speaking of Hay Days, it was the 6th and we took the kids on the rides. Logan told Dharma that there was a shark in the ball pit of the fun house. He forgot to specify that it was a picture and she got scared and had to go back. The lady refunded her tickets and we talked Dharma into trying again. She was so afraid of the ball pit (it was pretty deep for her - about 2 ft deep), but she made it through with lots of encouragement. We were very proud of her for facing her fears like that. Parenting win!
Logan is in 3rd grade; he's doing really well this year. His teacher is older and doesn't seem to be as obsessed with the little things, so he's getting along much better this year. He reads at a 4th grade level (prolly higher, but the reading classes only go up to level 4 in 3rd grade) and he's picking up math pretty well. I think he prefers science class overall. His eye surgery (#3!) went well and he's not to wear glasses for the next month.
Dharma is in her 2nd year of preschool. She got a mohawk (just like brother!) and it's so adorable. We call her punk baby. She is doing really well after her oral surgery. Hopefully, the kids are done with their tooth issues for awhile (both had soft enamel, a hereditary thing - I'm blaming Mom lol).
Stormie is waiting on his next raise in QA. He has such adventures at work. Tonight, he got cut by a tooth from one of the cows. I accused him of getting bitten by a zombie. Haha! Once, he reached out and caught a knife that one of the employees was using to try to stab a supervisor. He probably saved the guy's life. Stormie got written up, of course - safety violation and all. At least he was wearing metal mesh gloves, so he only got a little nick on his hand.
I'm still baking like a mad woman, making jams and jellies, and working at the coffee shop. I'll be doing edits on the cookbook this week, between artisan bread, baguettes and (maybe) pretzels. Then, pics for the cookbook. I don't know if you are interested in hearing about the foods I'm making, but I'll go into more detail if you want (with pics). I've been experimenting with a lot of different foods.
The Farmer's Market is going well this year. I've had two weeks of making over $40, which is pretty good for my small selection. We have 5 peach trees fruiting this year. Since we don't use chemical sprays, we can actually go out, pick a peach and take a bite. Some gardeners have asked us if we have pest bugs, but we have so many snakes, spiders and preying mantises that take care of those, we haven't had a problem.
Well, I think you are pretty well caught up. Let me know if I can get you something specific. Love you, and be safe and well.

Joy to the World: The Pagans Sing!

There are so many songs for Christians during the holiday season, but something struck me about some of these songs. They are really about the God, not just the Christian God. I know many people filk these songs for Pagan viewpoints, but I am going to do a Pagan analysis of Joy to the World to show that busting out into song during this season doesn't have to mean memorizing a whole new set of lyrics. Enjoy!

Joy to the World Lyrics 

Joy to the World , the Lord is come!
The God, the Lord of the Sun, is very present at this time.
Let earth receive her King;
Let's capitalize that Earth to show that She is Mother birthing her Lord son-lover.
Let every heart prepare Him room,
Get ready for the rebirth of the Sun and the Lord of the Grains...Spring is comin'!
And Heaven and nature sing,
Heaven is the sky, where the Sun lives. Nature is both Mother and the flora and fauna over which the God presides.
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven, and Heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the World, the Savior reigns!
This references the Holly King's sovereignty coming to an end. The Oak King, who "saves" us from perpetual winter has returned to claim His throne.

Let men their songs employ;
Celebrate! Party on!
While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
Fields are where the God will grow for the Harvest. Floods generally happen in spring, when the snows melt. Everything else represents the whole of Nature.
Repeat the sounding joy,
Nature echos the celebrations of humankind, welcoming the Oak King.
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
If we look at "sin" as a violation of Nature or unkindness, then this is saying "Let's all be happy and forgive what has passed!"
Nor thorns infest the ground;
We would rather grow fruits and vegetables and grains, not thorny, inedibles.
He comes to make His blessings flow
A promise of the upcoming spring and future bounty of Harvest.
Far as the curse is found,
I would translate "curse" as the threat of unending winter and lack of food/Harvest. Essentially, these lines say that His light and promise of bounty/Harvest breaks the "curse" of barren Earth and endless Cold/Dark.
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
The God does tend to be a Justice-giver, so this fits very nicely with that idea.
And makes the nations prove
What land or people would survive without the Harvest or the Sun?
The glories of His righteousness,
The God is an ideal manifesting high principles for proper conduct, an example of how we should treat each other and the Earth.
And wonders of His love,
Beltaine is coming! :-)
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.

Gratitude & Generosity

As parents, we try to invoke in our children a sense of gratitude and generosity. We ask them to say thank you. We coerce them into sharing. And we do so because we know that they could have it worse.

At the same time, we work on keeping that knowledge from the kids. We don't share with them the stress and efforts that go into providing them with a good life. We ask them to be grateful on faith, because we say so.

How do we help our children to understand, thereby giving them the belief that they should be grateful and generous? How do we make their sharing more then an empty gesture?

My exploration of Heathenry includes the study of the modern interpretation of Heathen values, the Nine Noble Virtues. One of these is the virtue of hospitality.

Hospitality is the concept of opening your home to those who need/ask it. But unlike the Christian concept of charity, Heathens believe that receiving this generosity invokes a debt of honor and reciprocation.

It was not unusual for a host to ask a favor of his/her guest, such as aid in a building project, hunting, killing a human or animal menace, and more. The host was expected to only ask for that which the guest was capable of providing, while the guest was expected to fulfill the request without hesitation. Beowulf is actually the story of such a request.

But why would this be acceptable, to demand a boon from a guest?

It all comes down to resources. Hosting a guest requires the provision of foods, bathing items, bedding and entertainment. To be able to host a guest, one has to have these things in reserve, that is, in addition to what one needs for the family to survive.

To be a guest is to strain anothers' resources. But it isn't just the use of resources and the cost of the disposables that a guest uses.

To be a host, one doesn't just provide food, but also the plates and utensils to eat and serve the food, the kitchen, pots and pans to cook the food. It isn't just the pork, but the salting to have preserved it. It isn't just carrots, but the herbs to flavor it. Add in the years of experience to develop cooking technique, and a simple meal can have a huge investment by the host. An overnight guest requires an extra space and bedding which the host must acquire and maintain.

So generosity isn't just about the resources consumed, it's also about developing and maintaining the ability to be a host. All of these are taken into account when considering the debt of a guest.

Now, it isn't as though they walked around with a ledger. It was about the spirit of that. They also took into account that a host may someday find themselves a guest. In the cold, harsh northern climate, this could easily be a matter of survival. So, the spirit of generosity to others became about a social debt that everyone owed each other for survivals' sake.

But how does this apply to teaching children?

We can talk to our children about the efforts required to get things. Talk to them about how paying the electric bill let's us charge handheld games, and the cable & internet bills give us tv and that website we love to visit.

Talk to children about how paying our bills allows us to share those benefits with their friends when they visit, and how they share it with us when we visit.

Talk to children about money (it's important to let them experience that knowledge... before they are dropped into the world of paying their own bills) and time, paychecks and bills. How much time does mom and dad have to spend at work to pay for the internet the kids use every day? How much time & money would they save if they spent x amount of time without the lights on?

If kids get an allowance, talk to them about how much time they spend earning it, and talk to them about how much they use on top of that.

You don't have to be accusatory or call them lazy mooches. Just show them the facts, bit by bit, and they will begin to understand the work and effort that they would have to do to get that thing you bought them.

And then, maybe, they will be truly grateful.

Grownup Children: Teaching adults

We may have made a mistake.

We allowed the brother of my partner to move in. The idea was to help him get on his feet, teach him some beginner stuff, and take advantage of an extra pair of adult hands. It hasn't exactly worked out that way.

He is defensive of the way "he has always done it", even while admitting it doesn't work. Then he asks why he should change it, cuz he's "still alive" and isn't that good enough?

He doesn't listen when I tell him how to do things... Like move everything to clean the floor when a bag of tomatoes was found rotting. He didn't. There was rotten tomato zombie juice on the floor.

Instead of helping to clean out the garage, he asks the ones cleaning to show him where stuff is to build chairs.

His common sense is almost nonexistent. His ability to prioritize needs serious work. His concept of having a better life is vague. And his refusal to change is driving me nuts.

Now, to be clear, this is not my first rodeo. I help people like this all the time. It frustrates me that I have to spend so much time getting them to understand the need to grow and change. But this is a whole new level.

I have never met someone so self-deluded, and yes, so broken. I have my work cut out for me. I'm just not sure I'm willing to pay the price for teaching this time.

Have you ever been in this situation? Share your story in the comments section.