Pagan Children's Books Beltaine Newsletter

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The next Sabbat is just around the corner! Check out our thoughts on summer fun - tell us how you like it on our FB page!

Blessed be, <<First Name>>! It is once again Beltaine in the northern hemisphere! The school year is almost over, and the hot season will be upon us quickly. This is a great time to talk to kids about accomplishing their goals, and encouraging habits such as walking (instead of driving those few blocks), and recycling and neighborhood trash pick-up. Parents, what values do you want your kids to really understand this year? What activities will help with that understanding? What small but mighty activities can you encourage? Get your goals a-growing with some easy activities that keep your kids thinking and spotlight the values YOU want to instill! ABC Book of Goddesses is a great choice for birthdays or bedtime reading! The school year is almost over, but kids never stop learning. There are a few things that you can do over the summer to keep those young minds busy. If you've been working with your kids on planting the seeds for their yearly goals, now is the time to put those into action! Summer Camp. Whether it's a day camp or a week of overnights, camps can be a great way to immerse kids into an activity. There are music camps, sports camps, camping camps, and more. Check out what is in your area and talk about the options. Make sure you discuss budgets, too - those camps can get pricey! Museums/Zoos. If you are fortunate enough to live in a place with a good museum or zoo, consider getting a membership. Kids can spend hours going through exhibits, and many museums and zoos have kids' areas where they can play and explore with only a little adult oversight. (Letting kids learn for themselves is a great way to foster their own interests AND build self-esteem!) Scouting. Spiral scouts, girl scouts, or boy scouts (now open to girls, too) can be a great way to give kids a social outlet with goal-oriented rewards. Badges can cover all levels of ability and skill. It's well worth checking out. Libraries. Consider having a library day - one day each week when you make a trip to the local book habitat. Spend some time browsing, check out story time, and take a few home to read throughout the week. Nature walking the neighborhood. Challenge kids to find plants and animals throughout the neighborhood. Or go to a nearby park for your walks. Have a notebook handy to write down more interesting specimens, then see what videos and pictures you can find on the internet to expand your knowledge!

Parenting Minutia & Parenting Goals

It is really easy to get caught up in the little things.

Yes, we should stop and enjoy the little things, like snuggle piles, inside jokes, and bad 80s family movies. But that's not what I'm talking about here.

I'm talking about the micromanaging, the over-scheduling, the nitpicking. And I'm not judging. We all do it, at times. We all get stressed about things and over-reach with our time. We all want to make a good impression at the family reunion or going out to a nice dinner. We all feel that pressure.

That's fine. Don't beat yourself up over that. But also, don't make that your parenting focus.

There are entire articles dedicated to informing pregnant women how to get on a wait-list for a preschool, which feeds into an elementary school, which feeds into a high school, which virtually guarantees an Ivy League acceptance letter. It's really hard to see that and not think, holy canoli, am I denying my kid by not pursuing this?

The short answer is no.

The long answer is nooooooo. And there are studies to prove it.

The kind of parenting that focuses on such little details is often called helicopter parenting. Over-scheduling, micro-managing, etc, are characteristics of a controlled type of family life, which allows little to no room for error. Not for the kids, not for t
he parents.

While it certainly can relieve the anxiety surrounding parenting in a high-pressure society, it actually can harm the kids. Not in a violently abusive way, but in a subtle, undermining way.

See, kids need to learn to be people. That's what their job is. It isn't to check off a bunch of boxes on their way to a graduate degree. It's to develop the skills that will serve them for the rest of their lives.

The ironic thing is that teaching that is actually considered a more "lazy" form of parenting.

Letting your toddler explore the playground - and possibly scrape her knee - teaches that a bit of pain isn't the end of the world. Yes, comfort her, but don't try to save her. She'll just learn that she needs to be saved.

Letting your kids roam the neighborhood (to the degree that it is reasonably safe) with other kids teaches them to form and navigate relationships, and to get creative with their play. Bonus: you can talk to them about their day, because you weren't there the whole time, and give them advice if they seem to be having trouble with someone.

Demanding chores is a big one. I am not a maid. It's never been a fun thing for me. Satisfying, sometimes, but never pleasant. My kids do chores because they live here, too. My husband and I still do the lion's share, but they can rotate laundry, put dishes away, vacuum, and even cook - quite a bit.

Because of this, they often express satisfaction and pride in what they can do. Don't get me wrong, they still complain a lot when it's time to do the work, but they know they can do it, and that makes them feel like they can do other things, too. Plus, I won't be getting calls from college because they don't know how to run a washing machine.

So, how did I get here? How do I stay on course when social pressures are getting to me?

I decided a long time ago that my only goal as a parent was to produce an adult that was as successful and independent as their physical and mental abilities would allow. I revisit this idea often, reminding myself that I've seen grown men who outsource their laundry because washing clothes was a "girl's chore" or people who have to spend more money on food because they can't even make grilled cheese or spaghetti. And I don't blame them, entirely.

Parents need to teach their kids to be good adults, first by learning basics with supervision, then by taking on more and more responsibilities for themselves. And responsibility is a very Pagan quality.

Ostara: a Time of Growth

This post is also available here.

Each Sabbat brings with it a special meaning as part of the wheel of the year. The journey through the seasons is not just a physical one, but also mental and spiritual.

As we approach each Sabbat, we can grow with the seasons when we know the lessons each one brings us. This series explores the Sabbats' spiritual meaning in the context of modern Pagans.

Ostara is the Spring Equinox, straddling the line between the cold Winter nights and the warm days of Spring and Summer. While Imbolc brings the light to the year, the warmth of that light takes a bit longer, welcomed by Ostara.

This marks the time when we need to get serious about getting things planted. If we haven't started yet, the time is coming soon. Seeds should be sorted, plots of land mapped out - the future depends on whether we plant the right stuff to harvest and eat in the winter.

This applies to our metaphorical seeds, as well. Soon, we will no longer be trapped indoors by the weather. We will be free to do all the activities we need to. The days are still getting longer, giving us more time and energy to be active.

What "seeds" are you preparing for this year? What plans do you make?

Pagan Children's Books Ostara Newsletter

The next Sabbat is just around the corner! Check out this list on goal setting for Pagan children - tell us how you like it on our FB page! View this email in your browser

Blessed be, <<First Name>>! Ostara is about to blossom forth in nature. This Sabbat is about the first signs of growth in the new year. This means the sprouting of the first seeds - whether floral or spiritual. What seeds have you planted? What goals have you set up? If you haven't started working on them yet, now is the time to do so! Work done now has the added energy of what we plant now, we shall harvest. This means more oomph to get it accomplished. That means now is the time to set up abundance spells, now is the time to be generous, and now is the time to start projects that you want to have solid results. ABC Book of Goddesses is a great choice for birthdays or bedtime reading! Look for the things you want to grow and change this year, and get the ball rolling for it! This is a skill set, to make goals happen. And it is one that kids are never too young (or old) to start learning. Here's some steps to teach them! Clarify your goal. Make sure you know exactly what you want. Break it down. Go for daily, weekly and/or monthly steps to accomplish the task. Give it a deadline. Determine when you want it done. Do the same for each step. Clarify if the deadline is firm or flexible. Set up a task list. Make the steps easy to see and understand, then add a box - you can check it off or add a sticker, etc. when it is done. Help kids do the tasks themselves. It is so much easier to research summer camps yourself. Instead, narrow it down to fewer choices and let the kids decide. A guideline to keep it real is - no more than half the kid's age plus one (A 3yo gets two choices, a 10yo gets up to six, etc.) Walk them through pros and cons lists. Show kids how to evaluate choices by making a list of benefits and drawbacks. You can talk about priorities (cost may be a more important factor than location), how each choice would effect others (can mom or dad handle packing a lunch every day for a week of day camp?), etc. Don't forget the spells! Help kids write and work spells to aid their goals. Talk about effects, costs, correspondences, gods, and techniques to teach them how to determine if and what kind of spells to use.

Pagan Children's Books Imbolc Newsletter

Check out the Pagan Children's Books Imbolc Newsletter! You can sign up for the newsletter HERE. The next Sabbat is just around the corner! Check out how to make yearly goals - tell us how you like it on our FB page! Blessed be! Imbolc is upon us, and that means it is time to take the introspection of the dark of the year and begin making plans. It is also a new semester in school - a fresh start without the uncomfortable fears of the unknown. Even better, Pagan festival season is on the horizon. This would be a good time for kids and families to start working on ideas for the coming warm weather. Perhaps the little ones would like to go to day camp this summer. Maybe the family vacation choice is looming. Where would you like to go this year? What accomplishments would your child like to have under their belt? Who would you like to connect with or learn from? Begin the conversation and plant the seeds for the coming year! ABC Book of Goddesses is a great choice for birthdays or bedtime reading! It's never too late to make your yearly resolutions, promises and plans. Involving the kids makes them feel like they are a part of the family goals, and more likely to participate in the fun and work involved. Here's some ideas for helping kids get their ideas down in words and real, workable plans.   Brainstorm. Have a few words to throw out to get things going. Use colored markers and a big piece of construction paper or a dry-erase board to write down the ideas. Lay down the basic rules: take turns, no wrong answers, no making fun of answers, etc. Narrow down the ideas to a few goals. This is where you will need to think about time, money and age constraints. Have more goals than you can actually accomplish, but not too many more. Talk about prioritizing goals and why some goals may be unlikely (being an astronaut at 6 yo is nice, but unrealistic because NASA has rules about that). Check out alternatives. If a goal is deemed unrealistic, talk about why that is and what could be done instead. If the 6 yo wants to be an astronaut, talk about space camp or astronomy as an alternative. Make an outline. Use the general idea as the title, and help the kids come up with steps to take to make it happen. Kids will love seeing big ideas break down into easy goals. Take a big piece of paper and use webbing to show splits and connections for a fun alternative to traditional outline formats. Set up a checklist for kids to follow. Kids like to mark things off, and if they know what they need to do next, they are likely to surprise you with their ability to get it done. Make it age appropriate with small words or pictures for younger kids. Older kids might use a planner that you can help them fill out! Watch the kids go! Stand back unless they seriously need help. Achieving goals by themselves is key to developing self-efficacy in their adult years.

Pagan Children's Books Yule Newsletter

Check out the Pagan Children's Books Yule Newsletter! You can sign up for the newsletter HERE. Yule is just around the corner! Check out the activities for Yule - tell us how you like it on our FB page! Blessed be! Yule is a time of embracing the comforts of home - hot chocolate, the heat turned on, family running around crashing into things. At Badgerheim (the house of the Badgers), we love the crazy-messy aspects of home life. We cook, we play games, we have fun. It can be frustrating when my inner-50s housewife kicks in, looks around, and sees... what is that on the floor?!?!? Is that a dead mouse?!? But all in all, we are pretty laid back about life and living. We don't have much, but we have each other. We share what we have as much as we can, doing for others when opportunity presents itself. Isn't that all we could ask for? We have a Yule tree. We decorate it each year with Jólnir, the Yule Lord persona of Odin - a one-eyed Santa figure, and Freyja, the winged beauty, motherly goddess and wife of Odin. ABC Book of Goddesses is a great choice for holiday gifts, or bedtime reading! Every time you turn around, during this time of year, someone's got the "perfect craft" for making the "perfect card/place setting/gift/decoration". And they are all lovely. Instead of focusing on what we can do for ourselves at this time, I'd like to make some suggestions for what you can do for someone else. Now, don't get me wrong, these things are great, but they take time and/or money, which not everyone has. It's just as important to talk about why we do things as doing them. Visiting someone elderly, since many elderly don't get visits from family often. Drop off some extra food, clothing or gifts for the family down the street who you know is struggling. Write a letter to soldiers who can't come home for the holiday season (Pagan soldiers serve too). Sign up to support LGBTQ+ youth who struggle with family issues during the holiday season because of their self-identity. Learn about the charities that pop up like mushrooms at this time of year. Talk about them as a family, and make a family decision which to support. Talk to kids about different religious beliefs that have holidays during this time. If you can, reach out to a group that can tell you more about Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and more! Talk to the kids about why it is important to respect other people's beliefs as much as they should respect ours. Consider getting Yule gifts through Pagan artists' websites and etsy, rather than chain stores. Talk about the energy of economics and supporting small businesses. Don't forget to spend time with those you love and who support you! Take care of yourself and make that a Yule ritual tradition!

Pagan Children's Books Samhain Newsletter

Check out the Pagan Children's Books Samhain Newsletter! You can sign up for the newsletter HERE. Samhain is just around the corner! Check out the trick-or-treating alternatives - tell us how you like it on our FB page!

Blessed be! Samhain is the beginning of the Dark of the Year, the time when the veil thins. We have settled in for the school year schedule of drop-offs, pick-ups, parent-teacher conferences, concerts, etc. (Shout out to the home-schoolers, where conferences involve muttering to yourself after bedtime...lol !) The weather is noticeably changing now, with chill winds and cooler weather. My kids got pumpkins, and an interesting lesson. The squirrels, looking for bonus calories before winter, ATE the kids' pumpkins! Talk about a teaching moment! Squirrels like pumpkins a lot. Who knew? There are some tricks to keeping the squirrels away from the pumpkins, but it can also be a good way to teach kids about life cycles and the needs of local animals. ABC Book of Goddesses is a great choice for holiday gifts, or bedtime reading! Trick-or-treating is becoming more and more difficult. I've heard parents express fears over everything from cars not watching for kids, to hate crimes targeting minority religions. It is sad to think about, but that's where our world is at. Because the candy-fest can be so tricky (see what I did there!), I've put together some common alternatives: Boo at the Zoo - many zoos will have a special event where the kids can dress up and get candy. Check your local zoo to see if they have something like that. Bonus: your kids won't be the only ones monkeying around! Night at the Museum - museums also are frequent party places for Halloween/Samhain. See if your area has a children's museum and what they've got planned. Community Centers - these often have a more secure trick-or-treating option, or even a full-fledged party! Unitarian Church - the UU Church is often a de facto center for Pagan families. And, regardless, they can be pretty well counted on to have activities that aren't based on pushing any belief systems. Trunk-or-treat - some communities will put together a trunk-or-treat, where the kids go car to car, instead of door-to-door. It generally is less walking, more handicap accessible, and less risky.