Naming Children: Using Names and Zodiac to Balance Kids

When it came time to name my children, I had some thinking to do. There are so many things to consider, ways you can go. It can be overwhelming to try to find the perfect name for each kid.

I considered the "Pagan Name". You know, the pseudo-Native American, misspelled gemstones and nature stuff type of names that only Pagans and celebrities seem to ever consider: Storm Saffyre, Rayne Eagle, Apple Dumpling, Feenix Onyx, etc, etc.

I didn't go with that for many reasons. First, my kids would be going to public school, I knew that. I don't have the patience to home-school, and trying to do so would be detrimental to all of us. Whatever name I gave my child would have to survive 12 years of typical kiddo jerk-ness.

Second, my kids would be raised Pagan, but would they STAY Pagan? I don't know. I hope so, but I don't know. And giving them the equivalent of their magical name as their actual legal name... It felt like robbing them of some choice in the matter.

Third, my kids would be getting jobs around the age of 16 - and employers, for better or worse, judge applicants partially by their names. This is a fact. My act of rebelling against the naming status quo of society would very likely make it harder for my kids to find work and support themselves.

Next, I considered the "traditional" or family names. Typical, North American, Most-Popular-Names-in-History stuff. Names that my ancestors shared. Names like Edgar, Betty and 3.7 million names straight out of Christian myth: Jeremiah, Josiah, Peter, Paul, and Mary, etc.

Those seemed either way too common or way too old-fashioned for my tastes. After all, I was the one who would be screaming that child's full-name every five minutes while they rampaged their way through the grocery store. (No, that doesn't actually happen.)

Then I considered less traditional names. Ones that are relatively "a
cceptable" in mainstream society (aka, won't keep them from being CEOs and taking over the world for its own good), yet are a little edgy.

Perfect. But which ones?

I found a book (I don't recall the name, but I can point it out on a shelf) that talked about the meaning of sounds in your name. I looked up the sounds associated with my top choices in names. It was cool, but not something that really spoke to me.

Finally, I hit upon the kids' due dates. I knew around when they would be born, so I could guess at their likely sun signs.

The boy would be a Gemini, unless he was late... then he'd be a Cancer. Hmm, two signs that could use some serious grounding energy to balance them out. And my top name choice for the boy? A first and middle name that both meant types of land: a bog and a hill, if memory serves.

The girl was going to be a Taurus, no doubt. Because of the nature of the Bull sign, I decided that her weakest aspects would be in regards to finding and fulfilling her destiny. After all, Taurus loves to be comfortable, and destiny tends to push us out of our comfort zone. So she got a name that meant destiny or life path, with a surname of a goddess of grain (abundance, harvest, etc).

Do I regret how I chose my kids' names? EVERY DAY! :P

The boy (a Cancer) is both emotional and practical to an extreme. He is everything his name and sign should be, which means he tries to manipulate things to meet his desires. We call him Loophole Boy. He is so smart and keeps us on our toes. And while his emotions weren't necessarily mitigated by the power of his name, there is an influence there that seems to balance some of that out.

The girl, meanwhile, is domineering, a goddess in training and in her own mind. She knows what she wants from her life and she goes after it like a bull plowing through a brick wall. She's also a pretty, pretty princess and you better agree or she might attack. Keeping that girl in check is a full-time job, but I never have to worry that she will be a fad-follower. She doesn't cave to peer pressure; she IS the peer pressure.

How did you choose your kids' names? What do you like or dislike about my methods and reasons?

Books for Pagan Children: Infants & Toddlers

It can be difficult to find books for your Pagan children to read. You want books that teach them your values, and maybe something close to your beliefs and traditions.

I have compiled a list of good books by great authors. Many are outright Pagan. Some are Pagan in flavor or Pagan-friendly. I am noting when the author is a confirmed Pagan to encourage support of Pagan authors and artists. If you know an author is Pagan, but they aren't marked as such, send me a message and I will correct it.

• ABC's For the Young Pagan by G. D. Calhoun *PAGAN*
  The author and artist created a delightful book for young pagan children to learn their basic ABC’s. A is for Athame, D is for Dragon and others whimsical entries.

• Rabbit's Song by S.J. Tucker *PAGAN*
  In the time before time, Trickster searches among all the animals for a teacher of man. One by one, he examines and dismisses Bear, Cat, Tiger, Dog and Wolf as being too frightening. Trickster at last settles on the humble and unimposing Rabbit with his companions, Coyote, Raven and Crow as the very beasts to teach the Way of Laughter.

• Rupert's Tales: A Book of Bedtime Stories by Kyrja *PAGAN*
  An enchanting collection of four rhyming bedtime stories, children will be encouraged to discover new ways of exploring and directing dreamtime that comes naturally from their minds and hearts. Meet the very tired and hungry Brody the bat who helps Rupert learn about going to sleep, and a colorful dragon that knows all about dreaming. Merissa the Mermaid and Flora the Frog are the perfect duo to talk about sending bad dreams away and the Guardian of Dreams is there to protect dreamers as they sleep. Inspiration for reluctant and eager sleepers alike can be found in this assortment of charming, creative tales. Stories come to life with 40 delightfully vibrant pastel illustrations that complement creative concepts, influencing the direction and content of children’s dreams―something sure to please the adventurous spirit of every child!

• Smoky and the Feast of Mabon by Catherynne M. Valente
  Upset at the sight of her dying flowers, Smoky goes into the woods where she has always felt safe. Now she's lost! What is that glow in the woods before her? Follow a little girl as she discovers the meaning of Mabon in the wood behind her house, where a magical meal awaits her between the old year and the new year.

• The ABC Book of Goddesses by Selina Wolfcat *PAGAN*
  A beautifully illustrated book with a rhyming verse depicting 26 different Goddesses, arranged alphabetically, from multiple pantheons and cultures from around the world. An excellent introduction for the very young to the wide range of historic and current belief systems.

• When the Wind Stops by Charlotte Zolotow
  When a little boy asks this question at the end of a happy day, his mother explains that the wind does not stop-it blows away to make the trees dance somewhere else. Reassuringly, she tells him that nothing ever ends, it simply begins in another place or in another way. Rain goes back into the clouds to create new storms, waves fold back upon the sea to become new waves, and the day moves on to make way for the night, bringing the darkness and stars for the little boy to dream in. Charlotte Zolotow's lyrical prose and Stefano Vitale's rich illustrations make this a beautiful celebration of the cycle of life.

You're Eating... What?!?

I pull a Sanford, clutching my heart and crying out, "It's coming! Maple syrup is coming!"

I have to explain not only where a food is from, but how I managed to get it in the middle of Nebraska.

I mentioned to my coworkers that early exposure to a wide variety of foods may lead to fewer allergies as an adult. They looked me dead in the face and told me my kids would never have allergies.

When my family goes out to eat, if we eat "fast food", we all end up with digestive issues.

My name is Kalisara, and I am a food-aholic. (Hi, Kalisara!) I am a foodie (NUDIE-FOODIE!). I have made it my life's work to try most edibles from this planet, and I love my work.

We have no less than five different kinds of cheese at any given moment, none of them being plastic (American) cheese. One of them is always sheep's cheese. As a family, we have consumed approximately 75 lbs of llama meat. The last snack food I purchased was dried Yacon fruit, which the kids ate most of it. We grind wheat to make flour. We use olive oil, sesame oil and real unsalted butter nearly every day.

I have infected my entire family with this joy of eating (insert Merril Streep replying to the question "What is it you really like to do?" in a falsetto brittish accent "EAT!").

This means that bug the bug the boy-child has never had a true picky-eating experience in his life. Upon going to a grillout at a natural-foods, half-vegetarian family, bug ate a little bit of all the salads, as well as a nice burger. The other young child there screamed until his microwavable mac'n'cheese was plopped in front of him.

Ladybug is following, having consumed an entire half-bowl of chicken enchilada soup just the other evening. She eats all forms of meat, veggies, breads, seasonings, fruit... anything that fits in her mouth is consumed.

Both kids have heartily embraced the eating of heart meat pies and beef tongue stew with parsnips. And they gobble up the dried veggie chips as a snack!

I think there are a lot of reasons to enjoy eating, the least of which is nutrition. There is nothing like putting home-cooked food into one's mouth and rolling one's eyes with sheer pleasure.

Plus, enjoyment of food increases the amount of magical energy one gets from one's consumption.

And you forgot this was a PAGAN parenting blog... : P

The Power is Mine (and Yours)!

One evening, at supper (honey chicken, stuffing and honey-cinnamon roasted radishes!), bug informed me that he could use his x-ray eyes to see that ladybug had a broken heart. To fix it, he offered to give her some of his heart-healing power, which he did by holding his hand over her chest and making a laser-y, swish-y noise.

Fear my powers of cuteness and latex!

I, being the on-the-ball, pagan parent who takes advantage of every learning opportunity, jumped on that wave and surfed it.

So, I told bug that that was called "energy transfer," which, as I expected (this isn't my first rodeo, after all), got him curious. He asked about it and we talked about how people can give each other some of their power, or energy, and how that can help people do things, or change how they feel, or heal.

Strangely,  bug looks just like this after 6 candy bars.

Then I showed bug how I give energy, and he giggled a lot. Stormcrow showed bug how he could siphon energy off people.

Then, reality crashed down: "THAT's all the power you have, mama?" Talk about a blow to the ego...

We talked about how not many people believe in powers and how that keeps us from being able to have bigger powers.

Do I think he got it? Kinda-ish.

Now you know; and knowing... Hey! I'm not in G.I.Joe!

But it's a good start, if I do say so myself.

Free-Lovin' Paganism: The Unknown Pros

A few weeks ago, one of my coworkers (let's call him Mac), who is a single parent to two boys around the same age as bug, was having a parental melt-down.

He asked me (and a few others there) how he was supposed to answer one of the most feared questions a parent can get:

It's never too young to have "The Talk"... or is it?

"Where do babies come from?"

Poor Mac. He had no clue. But I was there to guide him through it. And the other parents there agreed with me.

"Just tell them what they want to know."

"So I should tell them that the daddy puts his %$#@&* in the woman's %$#@&*?"

"Well, you should use biological terms if you are going to talk about that. But I wouldn't go that far at their age unless they ask specific questions."



"So I should tell them that the daddy puts his %$#@&* in the woman's %$#@&*?"

"Um..."

Subjects that should NOT be made into a pop-up book...

It was a rather cyclical discussion. I kinda think that Mac just wanted to keep saying cuss-words and "dirty" words. He's a touch on the juvenile side.


It naturally reminded me of the time(s) that bug had asked the same question. He became more curious during my pregnancy with ladybug, but he'd asked about it before, also.

I have always used biological terms when talking about the body to bug. He still argues that it's "scrotum" and nothing to do with "balls" or "sacs." It makes me laugh when Stormcrow gets caught in that particular discussion.

On the other hand, bug gets the answers to his questions without me stumbling around for an appropriate response. I just give him the bare minimum of information to answer the specific question he asked, using scientific words, which he already knows. No muss, no fuss!

So, how did Mac do? I'm not sure really, but I make fun of him all the time about his whole "So I should tell them that the daddy puts his %$#@&* in the woman's %$#@&*?" silliness.

Mommy says I'm getting a brother or sister for Christmas!

Left Turn, No Blinker

There are two ways to approach having children: a) they will fit into your pre-existing life, and b) your life does a 180, loop-the-loop, barrel roll, screetching halt, speedy reverse with drifting...

Anyone who thinks that they can go with A is in for a shock. It just doesn't work that way.

Children are like bank robbers who get trapped with the bank CEO, surrounded by SWAT. They are desperate to get their own way and somewhat delusional that they might actually do so. Any negotiation with the hostage takers will only result in encouraging their behavior. DO NOT NEGOTIATE. They will NOT release your life to it's previous existence.

For pagans, this is even more so the case. We used to go to ritual, engage in various activities for achieving altered states, some form of "free lovin", a little bit of nudity, playing with fire and bladed weapons, staying up all night, dancing around fires...

Now? Supper is at 6, pj's and books at 7, and bedtime is 8, and the goddess split the skull of anyone who dares to disturb that most sacred of rituals.

Where solstice used to be a revelry of unprecedented Bacchanalia, it now consists of barely getting the kids outside before the sun sets (cuz you disrupted the sacred ritual, silly!), trying to light a fire in the firepit with wet firewood (cuz it's been raining for a week and you were just happy that all the family was indoors - forget worrying about the wood!), while using free limbs (arms, legs, head) to keep the kids from sticking their "helpful" fingers into the flames, then trying to make up a story about the sun on the spot (cuz you certainly haven't had any time to PREPARE) and having it interrupted every 30 seconds by questions you may or may not know the answer to until you don't know which way is up.

But it's all worth it because every family member joined in waving goodbye to the setting sun and that seems far more spiritual than turning in a circle to address each of the cardinal directions.

Happy Solstice (late, of course)!!