The Magic of Moving: Bringing Paganism into a New Home

Moving with kids is tricky. Getting a new home cleansed and inviting your gods and spirits to come is also tricky. Doing both at the same time with a strict time-table?

Challenge accepted!

Ok, I don't have a choice, so that's the attitude I'm taking with this.

Spirit types

That's right, I'm moving with the children, hubby, and a small but mighty collection of spirits. We always have spirits of varying types.

• Land wights and house spirits - These stay where they are, waiting for the next family to come in. Generally, they are more concerned with the physical location than the specific people who live there. However, if you don't take care of the property, or they feel threatened by too many changes, they can cause accidents. Keep them happy and you'll have a healthy, welcoming home.
• Family or personal guides, guardians and spirits - These can be found hanging out with specific people to help them with lessons. They can be around for anywhere from an entire lifetime to only a few days. Generally, they have the person's best interests in mind, so they are pretty easy to keep happy. Some guardians are at least partially the spirits of ancestors, so they may have personality quirks that can cause problems if they aren't given time to adjust.
• Other random, helpful spirits - These are beings that have come around and discovered that they like us. They stick around and are generally more helpful than land/house spirits, but more flexible than many personal spirits. They are usually pretty happy just to be acknowledged and appreciated.
• Gods - These don't usually stick around very much. They are more of the type to pop in from time to time. However, they do enjoy being made a part of any big changes, so it's always a good idea to include them in a housewarming.

Ways to move with spirits

There are many ways to show appreciation for the help and companionship of spirits, as well as to invite them to move with you. This can be done during and after the move, and children will particularly enjoy several of these methods.

• Taking down/setting up the household altar
  
• Whether this is a few statues or a full ceremonial table, the altar acts as the "guest room" for spirits in your home. It is where they are most often drawn to, and where it is easiest to communicate with them. When taking down the altar, take the time to clean each piece of dust and wrap carefully to protect it. Do this with a thankful attitude or a thank you chant, such as "Our thanks to you, for all you do, to bless and give, our home to live."
• In setting up the altar at the new home, take the time to re-anoint and/or re-bless items as you set them up. A simple oil anointing or flame blessing will do fine, though you can make it as detailed as you like. So long as anointing oils are safe, children can help with that part, or they can help place items onto the altar. If you have statues or icons of specific gods or spirits, you can welcome them into your new home with a few words as you place them on the altar, such as "[Name], welcome are you; we settle here now with a place here for you."
• Blots/offerings
  
• Give part of a farewell and/or housewarming feast to the spirits. It doesn't have to be a lot - this is a token gesture. Selecting a bite or two of each item, plus a dram of drink poured into the grass, is usually the best way to do it.
• Leave the gift in an outdoor location for them to enjoy.
• Alternately, you can set up a table with an altar to the god(s)/goddess(es), and leave a plate out for them there.
• "Set a place" for the spirits to enjoy the food during the event.
• You can also burn the offering, just be sure not to include any plastics or styrofoam in the offering.
• NOTE: If there is an issue with feral cats or strays, it is not a good idea to allow the animals to feed off of the offering, particularly if it is processed foods. In this situation, choose a method that does not leave the food away from people and accessible.
• Don't worry if it seems that they don't "take" the offering - they generally imbibe the essences not the physical foods.
• Housewarming Ritual
• A housewarming ritual is great for when a cleansing is also in order. Since few of us will live in a home that has not been previously lived in, cleansing should probably be a given.
  
• Start by setting up your ritual space, including casting of circles, etc. Using sage, sweet grass, or other cleansing item (sprays are handy for smoke sensitivities or allergies), move out of the ritual space and go from room to room letting the smoke (or spray) get into every corner. Pay special attention to portals (doors, windows, etc) to the outside. You can let children use a feather or hands to help move the smoke around (away from the burning part, of course).
• If you feel your new home needs something extra, use black salt, red brick dust, or even regular salt mixed with ashes, and sprinkle the mixture on the door frames and window frames, as well as on sink drains, bath drains and even in the toilet(s). Do this with the intention of creating a protective shield around the home. This mixture can be left until it naturally dissipates, or swept up when the ritual is complete.
• Return to your ritual space and request the presence of whichever gods, goddesses or guardians you wish to include. Ask them to keep your home and those who live there safe from malicious intentions. Ask them to discourage those who would treat you and your family badly from being comfortable in your home. Ask them to protect the home from the extremes of nature.
  
• Suggested blessing:
  "Hestia, goddess of hearth and home, we ask you to join us now, with the blessings of your hearth-fires.
  Bring to us the light of your fires, that none can see to do us harm.
  Bring to us the smoke of your fires, that those who would speak ill to us can breath no harsh words.
  Bring to us the warmth of your fires, that our home be a safe place from the winds and snow and rain."
• Complete your ritual per your beliefs.
• Decorating with intention
• You can put up pictures, window dressings, rugs, bedclothes, etc. with intention. Simply visualize the spirits there and "listen" for their suggestions on where to put things.
• With kids, talk to them about what certain spirits would like and why. Let them get into the spirit of it all, and listen for signs that the spirits are speaking through the children.
• Don't worry too much if this happens, as it is quite common and virtually never malicious. Children are often very open to "hearing" spirits, and may have something to add to the experience.

Making Introductions: Teaching Our Children About Our Gods

"Who is this?" says the child, picking up the magnet of Kali from the fridge door.

"That's Kali," I respond. "She my favorite goddess."

"She looks scary."

"That's because she protects us from bad things. That's why she's a bit scary."

That was how I introduced my son to Kali, many years ago. He spent over a year entranced with the magnet showing Kali in all her deadly glory. When we moved, he insisted that we bring her along with us. Because she protects us.

Kids want to know about our gods and goddesses. They crave the security of having someone else looking out for them. They want to know that someone is looking out for mom and dad like mom and dad look out for them.

Here are some things to keep in mind when introducing the gods:


1.   Keep pictures and statues in sight and let the kids become curious about the images on their own. And they will. Kids are curious about everything.

2.   Don't be afraid to filter out some of the more complicated stuff - you can get to that later, when the child is older and better able to grasp those nuances.

3.   Keep the language age-appropriate. Just because a $5 word is commonly used doesn't mean that is the best way to describe the god or goddess to your child.

4.   Introducing the gods to our children doesn't have to be a full education. Our minds develop in such a way that we learn very well with small bits of information, stories and pictures. Tell a basic story or simple explanation of the god or goddess. Then, let the child have time to consider that. More questions will come.

5.   Involve the kids in basic rituals once they've been introduced. Our kids were intrigued about the candy we left out for Ganesha. Soon they were excited to help give the offerings (and later steal them - good thing Ganesha likes kids).

6.   Don't just limit the information to a textbook-type of description. Make sure that you explain why you like the god or goddess, and how they influence or help you. Show them the ways we interact with our gods and why we do it.

7.   When they are older, help your kids decide when and how to honor gods and goddesses for their own lives. Perhaps Thoth can help them study, or Apollo will inspire their choice of band instrument. Don't be afraid to make suggestions, but don't push them. Most kids will find the idea intriguing without any pressure.

Toddler Altar by MazerCreations

8.   Eventually, the child will ask about a god or goddess that isn't one of your bent. It may even be Jesus or Jehovah. It is important to remain objective about them. If you aren't critical about any other gods, they will notice if you are critical about that one. Explain who the god or goddess is, why some people choose to worship them, and why you choose not to. It's okay to go into social and historical contexts, as long as it's age-appropriate.

9.   Have fun! Gods and goddesses are for celebrating. Let your child feel your own emotional connection to the gods, and let them get excited to share that.

10.  Don't worry about brainwashing. It's a lot harder to brainwash people than you think. For children, this is a comfort and a family bond. If you don't think they will ever be able to choose for themselves... well, wait 'til they're teens.

Jölnir's Ride: a Norse Pagan Yule Story

Jölnir (yul-near) rode his eight-legged horse, Sleipnir (shlep-near), through the starry night. It was the eve of Yule, the night of the winter solstice, and Jölnir had an important job to do. Two of them, in fact.

You see, Jölnir was actually Odin, the king of the Norse gods. From Samhain until Beltaine, Odin would lead a group of hounds and warriors called the Wild Hunt. This is because Odin has the ability to send away ghosts and spirits that travel the world during the dark months and might try to harm us.

In old Norse times, there wasn’t electricity and heaters in people’s homes. They didn’t have the medicines that we have today. So winter was very hard and, sometimes, people got very sick. They believed that sickness was caused by ghosts who were angry that they had died but didn’t go to Valhalla and were bitter that the people were still alive.

Jölnir would race across the land, hunting the ghosts and spirits, and sending them to the afterlife where they belonged. His hounds and his warriors helped him.

The other job Jölnir had to do was to give rewards to children who had been kind. Because the winters were so hard, it was very important to the Norse people to help each other whenever possible. Giving someone a coat or a piece of bread could keep them from starving or freezing to death, which would turn the person into an angry ghost.

Children who were kind and helped people made Jölnir’s job much easier. The children would leave their boots by the chimney or the door with a blöt, an offering to the gods, which was usually yummy food like cookies!

Jölnir would visit children who had been very nice and he would accept their blöt by eating the cookies. Then, he would leave little wooden toys or candies inside their boots as a reward.

Today, we leave stockings out, instead of boots, and we put milk with the cookies. Jölnir goes by the name Santa Claus, and he has eight reindeer instead of a horse with eight legs. But he still has a great white beard and fur on his coat, and he loves to give presents to children who have been kind.

You're Eating... What?!?

I pull a Sanford, clutching my heart and crying out, "It's coming! Maple syrup is coming!"

I have to explain not only where a food is from, but how I managed to get it in the middle of Nebraska.

I mentioned to my coworkers that early exposure to a wide variety of foods may lead to fewer allergies as an adult. They looked me dead in the face and told me my kids would never have allergies.

When my family goes out to eat, if we eat "fast food", we all end up with digestive issues.

My name is Kalisara, and I am a food-aholic. (Hi, Kalisara!) I am a foodie (NUDIE-FOODIE!). I have made it my life's work to try most edibles from this planet, and I love my work.

We have no less than five different kinds of cheese at any given moment, none of them being plastic (American) cheese. One of them is always sheep's cheese. As a family, we have consumed approximately 75 lbs of llama meat. The last snack food I purchased was dried Yacon fruit, which the kids ate most of it. We grind wheat to make flour. We use olive oil, sesame oil and real unsalted butter nearly every day.

I have infected my entire family with this joy of eating (insert Merril Streep replying to the question "What is it you really like to do?" in a falsetto brittish accent "EAT!").

This means that bug the bug the boy-child has never had a true picky-eating experience in his life. Upon going to a grillout at a natural-foods, half-vegetarian family, bug ate a little bit of all the salads, as well as a nice burger. The other young child there screamed until his microwavable mac'n'cheese was plopped in front of him.

Ladybug is following, having consumed an entire half-bowl of chicken enchilada soup just the other evening. She eats all forms of meat, veggies, breads, seasonings, fruit... anything that fits in her mouth is consumed.

Both kids have heartily embraced the eating of heart meat pies and beef tongue stew with parsnips. And they gobble up the dried veggie chips as a snack!

I think there are a lot of reasons to enjoy eating, the least of which is nutrition. There is nothing like putting home-cooked food into one's mouth and rolling one's eyes with sheer pleasure.

Plus, enjoyment of food increases the amount of magical energy one gets from one's consumption.

And you forgot this was a PAGAN parenting blog... : P

Germ Warfare: Nature is THE BOMB!

Germs are bad, right? Not so fast, there.

There's a new bad guy in the fight against illness, and it isn't a micro-organism, virus or prion (the things that cause BSE [mad cow disease] and  Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease (CJD) disease). It's hygiene.

When good immune systems go bad...

The Hygiene Hypothesis is the idea that too much hygiene, being too clean and too not-sick, at too young an age leads to the immune system having not enough to do, so it doesn't work as well.

Sometimes the immune system gets all wonky and results in allergies or even (some speculate) autism. Sometimes it means you don't get the bacteria in your intestines that helps digest food (eating issues anyone?). Sometimes it shuts off completely.

An episode of House in Season 6 resulted in a diagnosis of over-hygiene, or low-functioning immune system (extra-intestinal Crohn's, they called it). Additionally, CNN and Parenting magazine have both done articles talking about the positives of adequate germ exposure (here and here).

Love bugs!

So what does this mean to pagan parents? Well, if Mother Nature (the Goddess) did us right, we should live a more natural lifestyle, embracing not only the seasons, plants and animals, but also the tiny living creatures that we need to live healthy natural lives. That's right: Love nature, love germs!

Aren't they cute?!?

We are made to be little micro-bug hosts, using some germs to practice our martial-immuno-battles on, using some germs to help digest or process certain foods, and using some germs to become immune to bigger, badder things.

Love your kids; get them infected!

Left Turn, No Blinker

There are two ways to approach having children: a) they will fit into your pre-existing life, and b) your life does a 180, loop-the-loop, barrel roll, screetching halt, speedy reverse with drifting...

Anyone who thinks that they can go with A is in for a shock. It just doesn't work that way.

Children are like bank robbers who get trapped with the bank CEO, surrounded by SWAT. They are desperate to get their own way and somewhat delusional that they might actually do so. Any negotiation with the hostage takers will only result in encouraging their behavior. DO NOT NEGOTIATE. They will NOT release your life to it's previous existence.

For pagans, this is even more so the case. We used to go to ritual, engage in various activities for achieving altered states, some form of "free lovin", a little bit of nudity, playing with fire and bladed weapons, staying up all night, dancing around fires...

Now? Supper is at 6, pj's and books at 7, and bedtime is 8, and the goddess split the skull of anyone who dares to disturb that most sacred of rituals.

Where solstice used to be a revelry of unprecedented Bacchanalia, it now consists of barely getting the kids outside before the sun sets (cuz you disrupted the sacred ritual, silly!), trying to light a fire in the firepit with wet firewood (cuz it's been raining for a week and you were just happy that all the family was indoors - forget worrying about the wood!), while using free limbs (arms, legs, head) to keep the kids from sticking their "helpful" fingers into the flames, then trying to make up a story about the sun on the spot (cuz you certainly haven't had any time to PREPARE) and having it interrupted every 30 seconds by questions you may or may not know the answer to until you don't know which way is up.

But it's all worth it because every family member joined in waving goodbye to the setting sun and that seems far more spiritual than turning in a circle to address each of the cardinal directions.

Happy Solstice (late, of course)!!